to stop filming these self-aggrandizing lullabies to himself?
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/american/trailers/11117479/
gross. i feel almost voyeuristic watching this trailer. it's like walking in on somebody making out with themselves in the mirror... awkward.
"Ghorge. You haf a secret, but you are so ricockulously pretty. Oh Ghorge."
Blehhh. *spittle spittle*
Surrious. This is getting redundant. I'm glad you've stayed in shape, I'm glad you gray well. HOWEVER,
If I have to sit through one more hyper self-conscious Clooney self-portrait as Narcissus with some hot European chick as Echo while I am just trying to innocently listen to my un-upgraded free Pandora station I swear to you Ghorge!!!! To the moon!!!!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
i wonder- do words imitate ideas because words are incapable of containing ideas, because the idea transcends the words used to describe it?
do you ever notice that life always seems to give you just what you need to realize an idea?
idea itself is a beautiful word- one of the few in the grouchy old English language,
although,
good work with ubiquitous, and bizarre (and whoever came up with papaya).
life saves itself up,
it seems,
and can be hoarded
i suppose
but what fun there?
when dancing
at a festival
comes into my mind
it's 3am
no matter what
and what's in front of me
may vanish,
at last, into the mighty Hubble
telescope
because science will save us i'm sure
because science is infinite
like gas.
do you ever notice that life always seems to give you just what you need to realize an idea?
idea itself is a beautiful word- one of the few in the grouchy old English language,
although,
good work with ubiquitous, and bizarre (and whoever came up with papaya).
life saves itself up,
it seems,
and can be hoarded
i suppose
but what fun there?
when dancing
at a festival
comes into my mind
it's 3am
no matter what
and what's in front of me
may vanish,
at last, into the mighty Hubble
telescope
because science will save us i'm sure
because science is infinite
like gas.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Special Bonus Note!
Dear Governor Brewer,
Things that are not 'offensive:' The Geneva Convention! =)
Things that are 'offensive:' Racial Profiling! =(
Yours,
Forrest Grump
Things that are not 'offensive:' The Geneva Convention! =)
Things that are 'offensive:' Racial Profiling! =(
Yours,
Forrest Grump
I feel a Rant coming on...
ok, so here i am in Zippy's cafe in Everett, just mindin my own business, sipping some java, surfin the web, enjoying a nice peaceful Friday afternoon, ahhhh...
when i make the mistake of clicking on this article:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2012743855_apusbrewerunreport.html
Let's just take a gander at the headline: "Brewer condemns report to U.N. mentioning Arizona law."
Just one look and you know this is gonna be a doozy, because, well, Jan Brewer is a Republican. And Republicans, well, DON'T BELIEVE THE UNITED NATIONS SHOULD EXIST!!!! Yep! It's true! I remember in college, driving with my buddies on a roadtrip back to Maryland from Pennsylvania, and somewhere around Gettysburg, we saw a huge homemade sign on someone's front lawn that read: "United Nations Ends Your Rights!" Yup. The United Nations "ends your rights," America! Ya heard it here first, on some asshole's front lawn in Gettysburg in April of 2002. And when we saw that sign, we laughed. And my friend said something like: What? And my other friend said something like: Hahaha! Really?
Well, friends, here we are. Driving our proverbial collective van through our proverbial collective Gettysburg, in good ol' 2010. And there is Jan Brewer. One of the foulest examples of exalted stupidity around, squaking about how "offensive," is is that her precious immigration law is mentioned in a report about combatting human rights abuse.
Jan Brewer reminds me of the sullen and stressy roommate in the shared house who is always lashing out at you because you "forget to clear out your tupperwares in the fridge" and you "keep leaving your shoes in front of her door" and you "never turn off the bathroom light when you leave," but never thinks to look in the mirror and acknowledge that perhaps these small inconveniences are being amplified into major concerns not because you, the roommate is being intentionally careless or malicious but because her tolerance for any sort of stress or change of routine is compromised by a myriad of other issues, like her poor choices in men, lack of adequate sleep and closet pill addiction. Okay, so maybe this metaphor is a bit strained...
BUT seriously Governor. PERHAPS, just perhaps, your precious immigration law is being mentioned in a report about combatting human rights abuse because YOUR PRECIOUS IMMIGRATION BILL VIOLATES INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS LAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just, you know, perhaps.
Then, just to really kick me in the nads, the article ends with: "Brewer, a Republican, is running for election in November. Her popularity in Arizona and her national profile have soared since she signed the immigration measure in April."
Well then, isn't that just dandy! Happy Midterm elections everybody!
when i make the mistake of clicking on this article:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2012743855_apusbrewerunreport.html
Let's just take a gander at the headline: "Brewer condemns report to U.N. mentioning Arizona law."
Just one look and you know this is gonna be a doozy, because, well, Jan Brewer is a Republican. And Republicans, well, DON'T BELIEVE THE UNITED NATIONS SHOULD EXIST!!!! Yep! It's true! I remember in college, driving with my buddies on a roadtrip back to Maryland from Pennsylvania, and somewhere around Gettysburg, we saw a huge homemade sign on someone's front lawn that read: "United Nations Ends Your Rights!" Yup. The United Nations "ends your rights," America! Ya heard it here first, on some asshole's front lawn in Gettysburg in April of 2002. And when we saw that sign, we laughed. And my friend said something like: What? And my other friend said something like: Hahaha! Really?
Well, friends, here we are. Driving our proverbial collective van through our proverbial collective Gettysburg, in good ol' 2010. And there is Jan Brewer. One of the foulest examples of exalted stupidity around, squaking about how "offensive," is is that her precious immigration law is mentioned in a report about combatting human rights abuse.
Jan Brewer reminds me of the sullen and stressy roommate in the shared house who is always lashing out at you because you "forget to clear out your tupperwares in the fridge" and you "keep leaving your shoes in front of her door" and you "never turn off the bathroom light when you leave," but never thinks to look in the mirror and acknowledge that perhaps these small inconveniences are being amplified into major concerns not because you, the roommate is being intentionally careless or malicious but because her tolerance for any sort of stress or change of routine is compromised by a myriad of other issues, like her poor choices in men, lack of adequate sleep and closet pill addiction. Okay, so maybe this metaphor is a bit strained...
BUT seriously Governor. PERHAPS, just perhaps, your precious immigration law is being mentioned in a report about combatting human rights abuse because YOUR PRECIOUS IMMIGRATION BILL VIOLATES INTERNATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS LAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just, you know, perhaps.
Then, just to really kick me in the nads, the article ends with: "Brewer, a Republican, is running for election in November. Her popularity in Arizona and her national profile have soared since she signed the immigration measure in April."
Well then, isn't that just dandy! Happy Midterm elections everybody!
Glenn Beck: wtf?
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129449408
i don't want to dignify this behaviour with too much of a response, but really Mr. Beck? Really really? "Divine providence?" "Reclaiming the civil rights movement?" Really? Really? REALLY????
What is going on with iconic conservative white males these days claiming that they are somehow the victims of institutional prejudice?
Dear Newt Gingrich and Glenn Beck,
You two are super rich. The most stressful moment in your day is when you need to curb your sycophantic squirrelishness while the make-up artist puts cover-up on your facial moles. You are not victims. Relax, enjoy life, go hobnob with some investment bankers at some country clubs, and stop talking publicly for a while.
Sincerely,
Forrest Grump
i don't want to dignify this behaviour with too much of a response, but really Mr. Beck? Really really? "Divine providence?" "Reclaiming the civil rights movement?" Really? Really? REALLY????
What is going on with iconic conservative white males these days claiming that they are somehow the victims of institutional prejudice?
Dear Newt Gingrich and Glenn Beck,
You two are super rich. The most stressful moment in your day is when you need to curb your sycophantic squirrelishness while the make-up artist puts cover-up on your facial moles. You are not victims. Relax, enjoy life, go hobnob with some investment bankers at some country clubs, and stop talking publicly for a while.
Sincerely,
Forrest Grump
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Are You Ready for Some Football???
So, yep, it's that time again: NFL football time is just around the corner! I was talking with a buddy last night about the upcoming season, so I wanted to take a moment and highlight my own personal top storylines for the 2010-2011 season. Oh? What's that you say? This post is insipid, shallow and pointless? Well, yeah, you're right!!!! BUT you know what the NFL is NOT? It's NOT media-stoked bigotry and xenophobia! Hurrah! Okay, my top storylines:
1) Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler is already fascinating because he's dating a social networker from Wilmette (where I grew up) and because he looks hungovger and unhealthy all the time and yet is a rising star in the NFL. Jay Cut is inheriting a whole lot of pressure this year in the already pressure-laden universe of pro football in Chicago. As I mentioned to my friend last night, football fans in Chicago only half want to see you succeed as a Bears quarterback. This is because, like a 30-something year old single person who no longer believes in true love, Bears fans have been traumatized and hurt so many times through the years by anemic offenses and incompetent quarterbacks, that they have grown addicted to the pain, and they cope by lashing out. So Bears fans, deep down, half want Jay C to fail miserably, just so they can externalize their own inner angst. That's gotta be weird for a 25 year old diabetic almost-but-not-quite football star to handle. What's more, this is Lovie's last and final chance as Bears coach. If they stink this year, errybody's gettin fired! AND to make things even more intense for Cutler and the Bears, they are going to be installing a super complicated new pass-happy scheme under new offensive coordinator Mike Martz, which will have to be successful IMMEDIATELY before Bears Nation regresses into its familiar self-hating, lash out at all the big names that are underperforming pattern of behaviour. So what does all this mean? I can't WAIT to watch a Bears game!
2) The Jets. How can you not root for the Jets? They have a hilarious coach who openly trash talks opponents (and often backs it up), the best overall defensive player in the game in Darelle Revis, Thomas "I'm always so incredibly angry looking" Jones, and they have all that whole we're-pissed-off-all-the-time-because-we've-always-been-the-number-2-football-team-in-New York-and-we-never-get-any-love-from-anyone-except-our-mothers-and-Joe-Namath angst goin on. I love the Jets, and I will be rooting for them again this year.
3) Say it with me: Super Bowl Halftime Show! What washed up, creepy looking corpse of a has-been band will halftime show planners dredge up this year???? I dunno, but I can't wait to find out!
4) The Packers. I don't really care about the Packers, but I made a stupid bet last year and now I always have to care about the Packers. "Go Packers." Although I am looking forward to going to the Packers bar for a game or two when I'm in Portland, because people get scurry there during Packers games. Especially Packers-Cowboys games... Packers fans REALLY don't like the Cowboys. Scurred.
5) The Seahawks. The Seahawks are the most boring, uninteresting team ever. Matt Hasselbeck? Really? zzzzzzzzzzz. I don't even know who the Seahawks running back is. The only player I like on the Seahawks is Lawyer Malloy, and that's because his name is Lawyer. Anyway, now the Seahawks have the most self-impressed, over-dressed, tries too hard all the time and writes crappy books coach ever, Pete Carroll, straight out of his ra-ra, hyper image-conscious position with USC. And Pete Carroll is predictably being self-impressed and over-confident already, just in training camp. I didn't like the Seahawks before, and now I REALLY don't like the Seahawks. I will be rooting against them. Boo Seahawks.
6) The Lions. Aw, come on. The Lions have suffered enough. Wouldn't it be nice if they won at least a couple games this year? Go Lions.
7) And finally, last but not least, Brett Favre. Is back. Again. Need I say more?
1) Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler is already fascinating because he's dating a social networker from Wilmette (where I grew up) and because he looks hungovger and unhealthy all the time and yet is a rising star in the NFL. Jay Cut is inheriting a whole lot of pressure this year in the already pressure-laden universe of pro football in Chicago. As I mentioned to my friend last night, football fans in Chicago only half want to see you succeed as a Bears quarterback. This is because, like a 30-something year old single person who no longer believes in true love, Bears fans have been traumatized and hurt so many times through the years by anemic offenses and incompetent quarterbacks, that they have grown addicted to the pain, and they cope by lashing out. So Bears fans, deep down, half want Jay C to fail miserably, just so they can externalize their own inner angst. That's gotta be weird for a 25 year old diabetic almost-but-not-quite football star to handle. What's more, this is Lovie's last and final chance as Bears coach. If they stink this year, errybody's gettin fired! AND to make things even more intense for Cutler and the Bears, they are going to be installing a super complicated new pass-happy scheme under new offensive coordinator Mike Martz, which will have to be successful IMMEDIATELY before Bears Nation regresses into its familiar self-hating, lash out at all the big names that are underperforming pattern of behaviour. So what does all this mean? I can't WAIT to watch a Bears game!
2) The Jets. How can you not root for the Jets? They have a hilarious coach who openly trash talks opponents (and often backs it up), the best overall defensive player in the game in Darelle Revis, Thomas "I'm always so incredibly angry looking" Jones, and they have all that whole we're-pissed-off-all-the-time-because-we've-always-been-the-number-2-football-team-in-New York-and-we-never-get-any-love-from-anyone-except-our-mothers-and-Joe-Namath angst goin on. I love the Jets, and I will be rooting for them again this year.
3) Say it with me: Super Bowl Halftime Show! What washed up, creepy looking corpse of a has-been band will halftime show planners dredge up this year???? I dunno, but I can't wait to find out!
4) The Packers. I don't really care about the Packers, but I made a stupid bet last year and now I always have to care about the Packers. "Go Packers." Although I am looking forward to going to the Packers bar for a game or two when I'm in Portland, because people get scurry there during Packers games. Especially Packers-Cowboys games... Packers fans REALLY don't like the Cowboys. Scurred.
5) The Seahawks. The Seahawks are the most boring, uninteresting team ever. Matt Hasselbeck? Really? zzzzzzzzzzz. I don't even know who the Seahawks running back is. The only player I like on the Seahawks is Lawyer Malloy, and that's because his name is Lawyer. Anyway, now the Seahawks have the most self-impressed, over-dressed, tries too hard all the time and writes crappy books coach ever, Pete Carroll, straight out of his ra-ra, hyper image-conscious position with USC. And Pete Carroll is predictably being self-impressed and over-confident already, just in training camp. I didn't like the Seahawks before, and now I REALLY don't like the Seahawks. I will be rooting against them. Boo Seahawks.
6) The Lions. Aw, come on. The Lions have suffered enough. Wouldn't it be nice if they won at least a couple games this year? Go Lions.
7) And finally, last but not least, Brett Favre. Is back. Again. Need I say more?
Monday, August 23, 2010
can i just say real quick: i find it super f-ed up that in addition to this whole 'mosque' nonsense, there seems to also be an upswing of attention being placed on Barack Obama's religious orientation. first off, whatever, dude's clearly a Christian. BUT, who cares anyway??? if he were a Muslim, would that be freak out time for 1/4 of the population? yes? well, that is totally not cool then!!! some people are Christian, some are Muslim, some are Hindu, some are even *gasp* atheistic!!!! oh my! does any of that impact their ability to be president, or do anything else for that matter??? NO! STOP BEING STUPID! STOP CATERING TO FEARFUL BIGOTRY, MEDIA! THANK YOU!
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