"you'll be better and you'll be smarter
and more grown up and a better daughter
or son
and a real good friend."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0sy7y54XAE

some overplayed indie artists just never wane for emotional torque when you need it.

well, hi. i'm feelin pretty direct-experience-tweaked this morning. i just can't seem to get enough pure raw feeling right now. it seems like with me it's either a drought or a downpour... maybe i should move to the Sahara. Maybe i SHOULD move to the Sahara!

Do you ever get the feeling that most everything created by human institutions is a big fake joke? That most everything involving humans is a funny game? That the real news is happening in the (vanishing) woods, in the stars, in the tender gaze of a lover, spouse, or total stranger in an independently owned coffee shop, or a Starbucks?

In college I had a vision of the Universe, or rather how the Universe operates. I was hanging out, quite simply hanging out, I think we were watching Yellow Submarine or some nonsense, with my friend Stephanie, and I just had this vision. Of the way the Universe operates. And I got really excited. And then for days and days I dreamt about it. And then I started to get scared. Because I thought: what am I supposed to do with this?

The answer, still, at 28, is: keep living.